Birthday shopping
November 26th 2006 04:57
Today I finally got to do my birthday shopping for Dad and Diane. I had been waiting and wanting to do so for a while. First time I'd been in Portland on my own in a while too ten days prob.
Got to Portland, and it was a beautiful day out, relatively warm too - say, 45, lol. Felt inspired by the music on my Walkman, flung my stuff on a bench by the bookstore side of Monument Square, cautiously took off my sweatshirt, basked in the freedom of bare arms and bright sunshine, and danced down the walkway! I love doing that, I love when I feel like that, it's not a feeling you can force, it just has to come, and I love when it does.
The fact that I hadnt been out of the house at all in three days probably helped, lol.
So I walked down to Cold Stone to get a smoothie, too many people though, so went to O'Naturals, then library, and bus to South Portland.
Had a bit of a fight with Dad over the whole taxi issue. I believe very strongly that with my social security money, I should be able to do a)pretty much what I want with it, b) use it to improve the quality of my life, and c)most importantly, USE IT TO INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF INDEPENDENCE I HAVE! So calling a taxi from Westbrook so I could stay an extra hour in the mall and actually enjoy myself for the first time in a week and a half, seemed to fit squarely in that camp. If I did what my parents said and tried to fit Portland and the mall in SP in, in 2 hours,
with 2 half hour bus rides, there's no way in hell I could have done it, and I'd have been stressed out and not enjoy myself at all. Or, I could use some of my money, get a taxi from W-book, and have as much time as I want so I could relax and truly enjoy myself. Sounds simple right? Apparently not.
Dad totally hit the roof when I told him I was taxing a taxi home later, it was freaking bad. Said I didn't have enough money to, but I do. The long and short of it is , I got to the mall and called them, they said they would pick me up in 30 min, I did my birthday shopping, it worked out ok, I still would have liked more time but not enough to incur that kind of wrath if I didn''t absolutely have to. The issue will come up again though I am sure. I feel very strongly that taxing a taxi maybe once a week to give me a feeling of freedom, independence, a teensy weensy little bit of control over my life...is not a bad thing at all. Certainly it is equivalent to the amount people pay for gas in a week, and I am sure he wouldn't object to me paying for gas if I had a car. I feel like I have some very good logical arguments in my favor, but, they are better at arguing, at fighting, they can yell louder and for longer, and that is my problem. I know what to say but have no stamina in a fight, I cant stand shouting matches, I cant stand people who try to guilt me or outmanuever me or trip me up just because theyre older and bigger and can. And because I live with them and am dependent on them they hold the upper card and that just really sucks becausew they can very easily make life miserable for me if they want to, so I am obliged to stay on their good side, which really kind of sucks. I definitely need to move out.
Anyway whatever got some good stuff at the mall and etc
Im in oldies chat gonna go back there now
Kate
Got to Portland, and it was a beautiful day out, relatively warm too - say, 45, lol. Felt inspired by the music on my Walkman, flung my stuff on a bench by the bookstore side of Monument Square, cautiously took off my sweatshirt, basked in the freedom of bare arms and bright sunshine, and danced down the walkway! I love doing that, I love when I feel like that, it's not a feeling you can force, it just has to come, and I love when it does.
The fact that I hadnt been out of the house at all in three days probably helped, lol.
So I walked down to Cold Stone to get a smoothie, too many people though, so went to O'Naturals, then library, and bus to South Portland.
Had a bit of a fight with Dad over the whole taxi issue. I believe very strongly that with my social security money, I should be able to do a)pretty much what I want with it, b) use it to improve the quality of my life, and c)most importantly, USE IT TO INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF INDEPENDENCE I HAVE! So calling a taxi from Westbrook so I could stay an extra hour in the mall and actually enjoy myself for the first time in a week and a half, seemed to fit squarely in that camp. If I did what my parents said and tried to fit Portland and the mall in SP in, in 2 hours,
with 2 half hour bus rides, there's no way in hell I could have done it, and I'd have been stressed out and not enjoy myself at all. Or, I could use some of my money, get a taxi from W-book, and have as much time as I want so I could relax and truly enjoy myself. Sounds simple right? Apparently not.
Dad totally hit the roof when I told him I was taxing a taxi home later, it was freaking bad. Said I didn't have enough money to, but I do. The long and short of it is , I got to the mall and called them, they said they would pick me up in 30 min, I did my birthday shopping, it worked out ok, I still would have liked more time but not enough to incur that kind of wrath if I didn''t absolutely have to. The issue will come up again though I am sure. I feel very strongly that taxing a taxi maybe once a week to give me a feeling of freedom, independence, a teensy weensy little bit of control over my life...is not a bad thing at all. Certainly it is equivalent to the amount people pay for gas in a week, and I am sure he wouldn't object to me paying for gas if I had a car. I feel like I have some very good logical arguments in my favor, but, they are better at arguing, at fighting, they can yell louder and for longer, and that is my problem. I know what to say but have no stamina in a fight, I cant stand shouting matches, I cant stand people who try to guilt me or outmanuever me or trip me up just because theyre older and bigger and can. And because I live with them and am dependent on them they hold the upper card and that just really sucks becausew they can very easily make life miserable for me if they want to, so I am obliged to stay on their good side, which really kind of sucks. I definitely need to move out.
Anyway whatever got some good stuff at the mall and etc
Im in oldies chat gonna go back there now
Kate
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