Puns, Puns, Puns, and did I say Puns?
October 23rd 2006 04:26
I'm in a mood for puns tonight. Let's see how many good ones I can find. I need to laugh, how about you?
Twenty Puns for your amusement , from various websites and my own memory.
1. An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.
2. It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.
3. Artificial knees and elbows were developed during a joint project.
4. I need to cut my fingernails before they get too out of hand.
5. If you say you have bad skin, I'd say that was a pore excuse.
6. Your nose is in the scenter of your face.
7. What time do you go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty.
8. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
9. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
10. Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine? He's completely recovered now.
11. Mathematics teachers call retirement 'the aftermath'.
12. Why did the boy swallow some coins? Because his father said he wanted to see some change in him.
13. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
14. Italian building inspectors in Pisa are leanient.
15. Ghandi Meets Mary Poppins
You know that he refused to wear shoes so his feet became hard and tough, right?
You know that he went for long periods fasting and refused to eat meat, even when he wasn't fasting, right?
And you know that both the fasting and his diet gave him extremely bad breath, right?
And that he was of lean, slight build, especially in his later years?
So he was a super callous fragile mystic plagued with halitosis .
16. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
17. A businessman from Wisconsin went on a business trip to Louisiana. Upon arrival, he immediately plugged his laptop into the hotel room port and sent a short email back home to his wife, Jennifer Johnson, at her address, JennJohn @ world.net
Unfortunately, in his haste, he mistyped a letter and the email ended up going to JeanJohn @ world.net
A Jean Johnson in Duluth was the wife of a preacher who had just passed away and was buried that day. The preacher's wife took one look at the email and promptly fainted.
It read, "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here!"
18. Why should you never tell jokes in a cornfield?
Because they're all ears.
19. What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
Someday my prints will come.
20. Did you hear what happened to the man who got stuck in an eyeglass making machine? He made a spectacle of himself.
Which one is your favorite?
Twenty Puns for your amusement , from various websites and my own memory.
1. An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.
2. It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.
3. Artificial knees and elbows were developed during a joint project.
4. I need to cut my fingernails before they get too out of hand.
5. If you say you have bad skin, I'd say that was a pore excuse.
6. Your nose is in the scenter of your face.
7. What time do you go to the dentist? At tooth-hurty.
8. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
9. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
10. Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine? He's completely recovered now.
11. Mathematics teachers call retirement 'the aftermath'.
12. Why did the boy swallow some coins? Because his father said he wanted to see some change in him.
13. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
14. Italian building inspectors in Pisa are leanient.
15. Ghandi Meets Mary Poppins
You know that he refused to wear shoes so his feet became hard and tough, right?
You know that he went for long periods fasting and refused to eat meat, even when he wasn't fasting, right?
And you know that both the fasting and his diet gave him extremely bad breath, right?
And that he was of lean, slight build, especially in his later years?
So he was a super callous fragile mystic plagued with halitosis .
16. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
17. A businessman from Wisconsin went on a business trip to Louisiana. Upon arrival, he immediately plugged his laptop into the hotel room port and sent a short email back home to his wife, Jennifer Johnson, at her address, JennJohn @ world.net
Unfortunately, in his haste, he mistyped a letter and the email ended up going to JeanJohn @ world.net
A Jean Johnson in Duluth was the wife of a preacher who had just passed away and was buried that day. The preacher's wife took one look at the email and promptly fainted.
It read, "Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here!"
18. Why should you never tell jokes in a cornfield?
Because they're all ears.
19. What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
Someday my prints will come.
20. Did you hear what happened to the man who got stuck in an eyeglass making machine? He made a spectacle of himself.
Which one is your favorite?
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